I was finished with
school, wanted to be abroad for a year. Working as a nanny was what
was possible and so I only had to find out in which country. I love
France and would have loved to spent some time there, but I had a
really stupid teacher the last years and lost the passion for the
language. Next on my list: English, well the US was too far away and
I actually didn't feel that my English was so bad, so England was not
an option either.
As my mums family is from
Scandinavia I finally chose to move up here in order to learn the
language and find out where this part of me comes from. My
grandfather died when my mum was very young so she grew up in
Germany, but we had been to Scandinavia every summer and spent the
holidays here. My family is still owning a cabin up here, which I use
from time to time.
Yep, I had chosen a
country, just had to find a family to stay with. That was not so very
difficult, the Internet is full of families in need of a nanny to
look after their kids. I finally found a nice one, well I had my
doubts from the beginning, but they seemed ok. The contract was
written and I was going to move in 2 months later.
I remember that summer at
the cabin, we were staying there for some weeks and visiting the
family before I moved in. A bit strange to know that you are going to
not go home again with your family, but really exciting too. I
moved in, my family went home again and I stayed with a totally
strange family, that turned out to not really wish another family
member, but an employee to boss around. After several months of
feeling exploited and lonely I found myself another family. That
family stuck to the rules and I had a lovely time there. Working my
hours and being a part of the family.
This
year went by pretty fast and I suddenly was forced to think about my
further future.
I
had applied for some colleges and universities and was waiting for an
answer. While I was waiting for replies I spent the summer working at
a clothes shop. I got in at a Norwegian college and started studying
close to where I live now. Since I am a German citizen I couldn't
get any study loan, so I worked besides the studies, or perhaps I
should say that I studied besides working my ass off. I actually
worked at a gas station for a while, until I got a job at a
institution for disabled kids. I loved this job! It was so fun to
work with those kids and I learned so very much from them. I worked,
studied and worked and studied. I was social with friends when I had
the time, which was pretty seldom.
After
two years of that lifestyle my body and mind said stop and I fell
into a big depression. My back pain, which I had had for a long time,
got a lot worse. I think that is about 4,5 years ago now, and since
then my life has been a mess. A lot of pain in my back, hips, neck
and shoulders and depressions. I have been on and off
anti-depressants for about 3 years, lately stopped taking my last one
and although it is hard, I am fine. I haven't been able to work for
about 2 years and am suffering of a lot of pain. It is an art to find
the right balance between activities and rest.
Things
are improving, but it takes time. It is really frustrating, I am 25
years old and should have a great time. A great job, fun with
friends, training, traveling and just enjoy being young and single.
Life is definitely not easy and perhaps it isn't so bad to learn
about it at a younger age, I mean all the experiences I earn now will
help me in life later, won't they?
Although
life is hard and I am struggling right now I still have some great
times. I have some very nice friends, I have a loving family and I
have the two cutest and lovable dogs in the world. And I have good
days, days with laughter and little pain. It will take time to be in good shape again and start to work, but I am really looking forward to that day.
So
for now, have a nice day :-)
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